Can't Even Think of a Title

Just a quick post to let you all know that Catherine's little friend passed away last night. I don't even know what to think - I am both sad and angry. Sad that this family must go through this and angry that what many consider the "good cancer" robbed this child of a long life. I would like to think that despite the fact she spent 3/4ths of her life fighting leukemia, she still had a fruitful life for most children don't dwell on why's - they just live their lives to the fullest and continue to wake up with a smile on their face. I pray that her parents have the strength to heal and get through what is inarguably the most difficult thing a parent can face - the loss of a child.

As I have said, this little girl was the only one Catherine ever seemed to click with and we spent the better part of the summer with her as she had relapsed and started her re-Induction as Catherine was going through her Delayed Intensification. It was quite a sight to see them be on steroids together. I have never told Catherine that her friend's leukemia came back and that she had to go to a new hospital. Whenever she asks for her, I just say that they must have a different appointment. There will be a time and a place when Catherine learns just how serious leukemia is and it is then that I will explain all this to her. As of now, it has never occurred to Catherine that leukemia is a life-threatening illness.

It seems like a lot of kids have passed away recently. It's as if they waited until after the holidays to let go. I sometimes go on to the Leukemia/Lymphoma Society's discussion boards to chat with other parents going through this same journey. In the past month, 2 children have died - one of them was Alex's age, diagnosed when he was only one month old - he spent his entire life battling cancer. During Catherine's last hospital stay, we were initially admitted to the high risk oncology wing as our usual wing was full (we eventually ended up in our usual wing,
7-4). During my short stay on 7 West, I was told that there were 2 very sick children there and I witnessed all the attention they were getting. Sadly, one of them died that weekend. When I found out, it made me thankful that I had been transferred as I don't think I could have handled watching that mother walk out of her child's room after he died. All of this has made Dave and I appreciate our doctors all that much more - particularly Drs. Joe and Darryl who have been doing this for at least 20 years. I remember Dr. Elisha telling me once how they all really care for these kids, and for better or for worse, bring their work home with them. I have so much respect for them being able to go on with a smile on their face everyday with such a positive attitude when I am sure they have all witnessed more children die than any of us could imagine (witnessing one in my opinion is one too many). I am so thankful for their knowledge, experience, and dedication.

So as I end this post, knowing that my next one will be equally depressing as the one year anniversary of Catherine's diagnosis is 12 days away, I ask that you add all these families and our doctors to your prayers.